Womens Jeans

Back in the eighties jeans were tighter. I don't dispute this. Some of them even tapered at the ankles. In the nineties the tapering effect really took off and was evidenced in almost every kind of pants. But in the eighties jeans were tighter. Now often times, in my opinion, music and fashion heavily influence each other. They speak to each other like the volatile lovers they are. Sometimes they fight and some times they make sweet love creating "the next big thing." Punk rock was big in the eighties too. And what did rockers wear in the eighties when they were rebelling against the spandex clad corporate rockers (no offense Van Halen, you know I would never say anything to hurt you!)? They wore jeans. And jeans tended to be tighter in the eighties.

Now every decade likes to go retro to some degree. This trend in fashion tends to mathematically calculate that whatever was fashionable 20 years prior will be called upon to influence the current fashion climate. So the eighties are back. You've probably noticed it yourself. But, as is the case with every current decade, the influence is often exaggerated. And so I give you: skin tight jeans on men.

Yes, in the eighties jeans were a little tighter. But today young men everywhere are starving themselves like the women of the eighties did and still do just so they can fit their pubescent bodies into a pair of Victoria Secret brand women's jeans. Does anyone else find this disgusting? This is the most dangerous fashion trend in five years. And it's causing the emasculation of our teenage youth en masse. This has to stop. But rock bands everywhere have adopted the trend and are perpetuating it with full force. Their videos depict them in tighter and tighter denim, kicking and power strumming with wide legged abandon. Kids see this and begin to "rock out" (rocking out is the action of moving one's head up and down, sometimes violently, while jumping or rocking back and forth whilst sitting. Often times rocking out includes raising one or both hands in the air in symbolic gestures implying devil worship or resisting the man). This action of "rocking out" subconsciously reinforces the image of the band in the rockee's mind. Once reinforced in the mind of the child, the slightest amount of music from that band or even their genre can trigger a flashback so powerful the child will do anything to emulate the band. Is it any wonder why women's clothing stores have replaced Michael Bolten with The White Stripes? They know that teenage males everywhere are now willing to do what a decade ago was unthinkable. They arrive in these stores loud and proud of their desire for thin women's jeans. They come in groups ready to spend their hard earned lawn mowing money on this overt form of emasculation. But what of the cost to the women in our society?

We've known for years that women tend to compete and compare themselves to one another. Advertisers have been shamelessly exploiting this fact since advertising began. It's cruel and horrible but it's real. Once women compared themselves to the latest touched up celebrity when trying on jeans but now they have to compete with the indomitable metabolism of teenage males. Women go to try on jeans and see a teenage male in the size 2 they long to be able to fit in. It's the ultimate slap in the face. Today's corporate rock industry has caught onto the once fresh punk revival and has created legions of bands who all dress this way. Corporate rock and the fashion world have joined forces to control women even more through the perpetuation of this abominable trend. It's killing two birds with one stone really. The fashion industry successfully emasculates teenage boys making them much more likely to become metro sexual fashion consumers or homosexuals. The corporate rock industry uses the extreme peer pressure created by this fashion trend to sell many more sales. All kids have to do is see a new rocker in tight women's jeans and suddenly that "artist" now has the street cred needed to own their hearts. The fashion industry wins again because once again they've been able to wear down the collective female psyche and demoralize them even more into submission or banishment. It's just awful. But do you know who the real loser is in all this? The skate board industry.

The skateboard industry has traditionally reflected the values of rebellion against what's fashionable or trendy. But now the current generation of kids largely skateboard or at least want to look like they do due to corporate rock's adoption of skater fashion and subsequent infusing of women's jeans. Suddenly every kid on a skate board is wearing women's jeans. This is bad for skating. These jeans are so tight it's almost impossible to move let alone land a pop shovit. The godfathers of modern skating are perplexed. And there's nothing they can do short of starting a public service campaign instructing kids that tight women's jeans are uncool.

What can be done to stop this insidious fashion blunder? It has to start at the grass roots level. Talk to your kids about the importance of gender. Men should never wear women's clothing. Teach them about music and the evils of corporate rock. Corporate rock would have you and your children believe that it's gone but it's not. Corporate rock is bigger and more powerful than it ever has been. Listen to the radio and you'll see. The music's all the same. It's all the same!!!

In closing, I'm mad at fashion. Why did they do this to us? Why are they doing it to our children? I'm mad at the music industry. Why are they jumping on this? Why do they continue to mass produce bad music? Why are they destroying rock?! You probably already know the answer to these questions. Money. Women's jeans have always been more expensive than men's jeans. And true rock has always sold more records. The music industry has discovered a way to mass produce rebellion and market it to our unsuspecting youth while at the same time watering it down from its true rockness, thus polluting the joy that is rock. And how have they done this? With skinny women's jeans. It's a vicious cycle and I hope you'll join me in educating our youth about this horrible crime.