Mystery Chips

The other night I came into work and found a gigantic bag of potato chips. This bag was stuffed full of potato chips. This wasn't like an ordinary bag of potato chips, you know, full of air. This was a bag with weight and substance to it. The bag was out on the counter, seemingly in the open but I had to be sure. I started casually asking people in the office if they knew who the owner of the large bag of chips was. No one knew and then someone said what I had been waiting for,

"Well they're out in the open, so I guess they're probably for everyone to eat."

Yes! I had been officially absolved of any guilt or responsibility and could freely indulge my curiosity. Surely a bag this full of chips had to mean something. I had been analyzing the situation all night. A bag of chips that big could denote its origin being from a bulk discount center like Sam's Club or Costco. But this bag showed evidence of having hardly any air stored in it before it was open. To me this could only mean one thing: The manufacturer had total and complete confidence in his product. The manufacturer knew that these chips were so delicious that it would be a crime to fill the bag only halfway with the actual product. I walked up to the bag in question and hefted it. Its weight was very satisfactory indeed. I peered inside the open bag and examined the tears at the top. It was clear that whoever had opened this bag of chips had done so with reckless abandon. Surely everything was adding up. These had to be the best chips in the world. Why else would someone tear into the bag with such violence of action? I looked deeper into the bag, this time to examine the actual contents. I was impressed that the structural integrity of the majority of the chips was not only intact but appeared to be quite solid. This could only mean one thing: Kettle cooked chips. I quickly looked at the outside of the bag. I was right. These were of a homemade quality and durability that only a factory steeped in tradition could produce. I reached inside the bag and removed a chip. Its aroma danced around my nostrils implying the tapestry of intricate taste and delight I was surely in for. I placed the chip on my tongue and it began.

The room went white and air began to thin. I looked up and saw the universe before my eyes. Stars were streaking past me at incredible speeds until only thin stream of light were visible all around me. A vortex of light appeared in the distance directly in front of me and I knew that I was approaching something beautiful. I struggled to remember how to breathe. I felt my body relax amidst the dazzling display of space and time. Suddenly it was over just as fast as it had begun. I looked around. Know one had noticed my reaction to the chip. I had never tasted anything like it before and I was sure I would never taste anything like it again. I slowly regained my breathe. My body was shaking from the excitement of the experience. I slowly walked back to my desk momentarily forgetting about the bag of delight on the counter. My coworker caught sight of me and asked,

"So how are the chips?"

"Eh, okay I guess," I lied. "I've had better," I said selfishly.

The bag is still in the office. Others have tried these chips and I can tell by the changed looks on their faces. We who have eaten them can identify each other. Soon the bag of chips will be gone. I never found out from whence they came or to whom they belonged. I don't even know if I can find them again. I hesitate to look for them in any store. I do so because should I find them and partake again, I may not return from the cosmic journey they will undoubtedly create.