Super Chocolate

As I write this the effects of a piece of chocolate I ate approximately four hours ago are beginning to wear off. A friend of mine from work gave me this special little nugget of cocoa from her purse and told me that it was a special kind of chocolate from the Amazon. Now any time I hear the words "chocolate" and "Amazon," you've got my attention. So as soon as she handed it to me I inserted the dark nugget into my mouth and began chewing. I didn't wait for her to explain the instructions (yes, apparently all chocolate that comes from the Amazon comes with instructions, kind of like medicine).

So as I was chewing this this thing she begins to tell me how I'm supposed to suck on the nugget instead of chewing it. She did not see that I was already chewing the thing up at that moment but upon hearing this I became a little concerned. I slowed down my rate of chew so I could hear what she was saying.

"This chocolate is rich in anti-oxidants and can curb your appetite in between meals," she said. I carefully swallowed the remaining bits. "If you rest it on your tongue and suck on it, the chocolate will coat the lining of your stomach and help curb your appetite but you're not supposed to eat it all at once," she went on.

"This is really good chocolate," I said.

"You already ate it?" she seemed concerned.

"Yeah, wow, I feel kind of funny." I was concerned.

"You're not supposed to chew it up and eat it!" She seemed equally concerned.

At that moment I had an experience similar to the one I had with the chips at the office (search blog for entry about chips in office. It's worth it I promise). Only this was a little different. The room became much brighter. Everything was more detailed than I had ever noticed before. The image my eyes were seeing would skip or jump every few seconds. My brain started working faster. I've never done drugs before but I think this is the closest I've ever come to experiencing the effects of one.

I confessed to my friend that I had indeed consumed the chocolate incorrectly. I told her what I was experiencing and she seemed surprised. I was okay driving home. I was very okay. But now things are wearing off. I miss high definition experience that lasted a whole four hours. I have decided that this chocolate is going to be great during graveyard shifts. And now that I have experienced this I no longer want an HD TV. I just want more Amazon Mega Chocolate. All I have to do is chomp one up and then I get to experience HD Life. But as with the chips I have to be careful. The law of diminishing returns is always waiting to rear its ugly head in my life. So this month it will be Amazon Chocolate. Next month, exotic potato chips. The month after that, I'll be spending my time at J-Dogs. And so the circle of addictive foods will continue. I need to find a link to my deale- I mean friend's chocolate website (if she has one) so my faithful readers can experience high definition life too. She sells the stuff you know, and I fully endorse it.