Things I Wish I Would Have Said

Have you ever gotten into an argument, whether friendly or otherwise, and your thoughts just couldn't come quick enough to make your point? Sure we all have, that's part of life. Don't you just hate it when, an hour later, you have that epiphany that hits you and you know just what you would have said? Well here's a collection of things I wish I would have said at the time:

No I don't need therapy. Stop projecting your relationship problems onto me.

Actually I have a degree in clinical psychology and you're wrong about that theory. It's the other way around.

Actually I used to do that for a living and you have no idea what you're talking about.

You're the boss you can do whatever you want. Don't use your slippery slope logic on me!

So one minute you have the budget to do this but the next minute you don't?

No, that's a bad deal and you know that.

Yes, you're a bad parent, but you can still change.

Yes, you're children are crazy.

No, that's not normal behavior.

Actually that's called permissive parenting and that parenting style is responsible for most of the world's current and past problems.

You have to bribe your infant with candy otherwise she won't "let" you change her? Yeah, that is nuts.

Your child is not special. He's spoiled.

I know you are but what am I?

If I were your kid I'd spank myself.

Yes, you can be a democrat and still be a faithful church going person, look at President Faust.

Ron Paul sure can put up a poster.

No you're a communist!

I'm a 911 fire, ems, and police dispatcher. I think it's safe to say that I can multi-task.

No I don't feel guilty about that.

It's called split ear technique.

No I'm not worried about you.

Yes, I do support global warming.

Al Gore contributes more to climate change than any one man via his exclusive use of a personal jet and SUV's whenever he travels, and he travels often my friend.

No I'm not interested in going to Africa.

So what?

You leave a wake of destruction where ever you go.

You're child is possessed by the devil.

My son may not be able to talk, but at least he's not addicted to candy and self destruction.

You're the parent for crying out loud, show a little backbone!

No, don't beat your kids! But don't raise terrorists either.

I am the most patient man in the world. I will wait you out.

Those are just a few. There's no need to understand the context these would have been said in, but then again, this post was more for me than it was for you, unless you recognize anything. If that's the case then:

SO THERE!