Poison Something

I have poison oak, sumac, or ivy. I'm not sure what it is but it's on both of my forearms and my right bicep. It itches and it burns and I'm typing this without resting my arms on the desk. My arms look pretty gnarly too. There's this weird star pattern on my left forearm too and that makes me think that possibly this is an alien infection of some sort and that any minute I will begin manifesting special abilities not found in normal man. Kind of like the backwards number 4 that's imprinted on the right side of my scalp just above my right side burn. Whenever I get a close haircut (high and tight, white walls, what have you) and I look in the mirror, I notice very clearly the number four. Is this some kind of message? Why is the number four engraved in my head? Why is it backwards? What does it mean? It's probably nothing. It's probably just some natural accident that just looks like a reversed number 4. But sometimes when I'm in bed, just before I go to sleep it starts to burn and glow.

Okay that last part wasn't true. But how cool would that be if it was? It's pretty weird though just like me getting poison whatever on my arms. So I guess that's how I deal with these odd things. I attribute them to a government conspiracy or aliens wishing to give a chosen human super powers. Hey it works in the comics! Unfortunately, I still itch.