Emo is the new corporate rock. It's time we all faced the facts and found something else to horde away from the masses of brainwashed teenie boppers who drive these songs to the top of the 40. I once heard an emo girl, in a desperate effort to keep emo emo, call into a radio station and beg the DJ not to play Bright Eyes anymore. Her efforts failed. Her reasoning for the anti-request was that the artist known as Bright Eyes was becoming too popular and she wanted it to stop so that she and the select few of his early fans could still claim that ever important musical moral high ground when comparing obscure bands. As if to be able to say, "oh you've never heard of Bright Eyes, well I guess you don't really know emo then."
I laughed when I heard this. Don't you people know it's over. Emo, the once underground answer to grunge is dead. Everyone gushes their their honesty in song now and calls it emo. The minor 7th chords, the black hair, the women's jeans, the "I don't care about making money" facade, is over. Emo has officially sold out. Deal with it. Dashboard went electric for crying out loud! It's Dillon all over again! Emo is the new Journey. There I said it. It's time to find a new underground musical genre that truly emulates the you that no one knows or appreciates. It's time to ditch the women's jeans. Wash the black dye out of your hair. Lose the studded belts and bracelets. Buy some decent shoes. Wash your face and smile for a change. I have the answer for your musical needs. It's time to go back to the music that has always represented you and the things you stand for. The music that lets you be yourself and appreciates you for who you are. The music that will never go corporate because it's so underground everyone has forgotten about it. You've probably told people you've heard of this kind of music so you can sound like the well rounded and enlightened critic you portray to all of your friends and those you meet for the first time at emo concerts. It's called Jazz and it's the next big thing. It's as underground as you can go. And while it might get a lot of air time on public radio, once you start listening to John Coltrane and Miles Davis, you will never go back. Emo's got nothing on this, the original emo.
I laughed when I heard this. Don't you people know it's over. Emo, the once underground answer to grunge is dead. Everyone gushes their their honesty in song now and calls it emo. The minor 7th chords, the black hair, the women's jeans, the "I don't care about making money" facade, is over. Emo has officially sold out. Deal with it. Dashboard went electric for crying out loud! It's Dillon all over again! Emo is the new Journey. There I said it. It's time to find a new underground musical genre that truly emulates the you that no one knows or appreciates. It's time to ditch the women's jeans. Wash the black dye out of your hair. Lose the studded belts and bracelets. Buy some decent shoes. Wash your face and smile for a change. I have the answer for your musical needs. It's time to go back to the music that has always represented you and the things you stand for. The music that lets you be yourself and appreciates you for who you are. The music that will never go corporate because it's so underground everyone has forgotten about it. You've probably told people you've heard of this kind of music so you can sound like the well rounded and enlightened critic you portray to all of your friends and those you meet for the first time at emo concerts. It's called Jazz and it's the next big thing. It's as underground as you can go. And while it might get a lot of air time on public radio, once you start listening to John Coltrane and Miles Davis, you will never go back. Emo's got nothing on this, the original emo.
2 comments:
That's not a haiku.
DJ Jazzy Jake
Changing the world by blogging.
He waters his plants.
Post a Comment