Why I Do The Things I Do

Something happens to a man when he gets married. I'm not sure how it happens but some men lose the ability to hold a meaningful conversation with a woman. It's not because the man doesn't like the woman any more, or isn't attracted to her. On the contrary, a man could be in the mad throws of passion an still have absolutely nothing to say. This is very problematic in marriage because the primary source of fuel for a woman's emotional diet is deep meaningful conversation. This becomes critical to women when they have children. They cannot survive without it after spending a day with the children "in captivity." Now I do not know if this theory applies to women who work full time outside of the home, but it seems to fit with women who work full time in the home. And if any men have had to stay at home with the kids then they will know that I speak the truth.
This disintegration of meaningful conversation within the man's head does not imply that he is having meaningful conversation in his own head which he has selfishly chosen to keep to himself. Far from it. I like to think of it, when I am thinking, as nirvana. The complete absence of thought. This explains why many women believe their husbands are thoughtless. They are. They have achieved nirvana. They are at peace with their lives thus far. They have married the woman of their dreams, they have beautiful children, a decent place to live, they are able to provide for their families, and have healthy engaging hobbies. The man isn't speaking because he is frustrated or upset. He isn't speaking because he simply has nothing to say. This idea is completely foreign to most women and usually proves to be the impetus of many arguments (usually caused by the woman) which resemble pre emptive marital strikes. The woman believes the man has knocked out communications in an attempt to undermine the woman's goals or needs. By cutting off the supply line of emotional content the man can starve the woman out during the siege. It simply does not work that way. We just don't have anything to say. This moment, however, can prove critical. Usually the woman thinks that something is wrong and then begins a series of mental leaps to conclusions about why the man is not communicating. This exposes her utmost insecurities which force her to engage a vicious defense mechanism in order to protect her ego. This is most commonly demonstrated in the form of a verbal passive aggressive attack on the man, which to him, appears completely unwarranted. At this point the man may engage or may continue his silence. The only difference between this new form of silence is that he is thinking and quickly taking offense to this seemingly unwarranted attack on his character, personality or grooming habits. He feels disrespected and thinks to himself, "well if you're going to treat me like that when I haven't done anything wrong, then I'm not talking." This, of course, only validates the woman's original fears and fuels her misguided fury. Soon both parties are upset but for completely different reasons. Eventually someone leaves to clear their head but the man will always find a way to return to his nirvana state. It's how men stay alive in this world. Later on things will be worked out and all will be forgiven and life will return to normal. At least until the woman forgets why the man isn't talking.