Spies

Why are spies depicted in American media as super buff and super hot? This makes no sense to me. Spies are supposed to blend into society. They have to be able to make everyone around them believe that they are just like them: normal and average. So according to TV spies are super hot. This is probably because the government forced the networks and movie executives to portray American spies this way. The government does not want you to know that our spies are really normal average looking people who can't do a sit up or a push up if their lives depended on it. But what about killing? Don't you have to be in crazy shape to be able to kill people? Because all spies are also assassins right? Wrong again folks. But the government probably forces that particular depiction too. They want all of us to be too afraid of potential spies even if they are total lard butts. They want us to fear that even the total lard butts could kill us.

This is really just a sad ploy to trick us into thinking of spies in a certain way. Real spies are out of shape control freaks who hold down two full time jobs and have no lives. They work with you doing whatever it is you do and then they have their spy job. Their spy job usually consists of surfing the Internet. That's right, they surf the web looking for hidden codes and messages, telling them where to meet their handler later that night with the secret file (okay some things are real). So next time you're alone with that normal co-worker who spends all his or her time surfing the Internet, think again. They may not be so normal after all.