It seems these days that everyone is talking about Chuck Norris. Even Mike Huckabee is talking about Chuck Norris. Now I'm not going to break with scientific fact and try to persuade you that Chuck Norris isn't all that people say he is. We all know Mr. Norris is invincible and super rad. But did you know that before there was the Chuck, there was the original primevil indestructable planetary element: The Twinkie. I will go one step further and declare the the following:
Evolution is real. Deal with it. I have proof:
Twinkies are the original indestructable element. They're golden on the outside and vanilla white on the inside. Twinkies have a soft spongy exterior but the taste is like a flavorfull kick in the mouth that gets you on both undersides of your jaw.
Chuck Norris is the Twinkie evolved.
The Twinkie wasn't getting the respect it deserved. Predatory children were ravaging Twinkie herds, decimating their numbers until they found themselves on the brink of extinction. Something had to be done. The remaining Twinkies combined their conciousness to form a collective mind and determined themselves to evolve into a new form that would be able to deal with the onslaught facing them. The form they chose: Chuck Norris. Chuck retains the golden exterior, now hardened from pain and the vanilla interior that is his core.
Don't believe me? Eat a Twinkie that has yet to evolve and tell me you didn't feel that! That's what I thought.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Your logic amazes me. Your doctrine is irrefutable. haha, nice blog, jake.
Post a Comment