Home Teachers Make Mistakes Too

I just want you all to know (all five of my loyal readers) that even home teachers make mistakes sometimes. Don't be a hater just because he's famous. Famous LDS stars can slip up just like the rest of you zoobies.

In related news, Fedex now ships communism world wide. You can get a biggie order of communism shipped directly to your doorstep overnight now. Just contact Zakadia for more information. Finally a direct mailing source for some of the best retro communism money can by. All proceeds of Zak's direct communism go directly back to the people. So be sure to super size your order!!!

Yes this is an inside joke post. I'm allowed one every now and then. Get over it. And if you happen to be a Chinese underground freedom fighter reading this, hoping that yahoo or google won't sell you out to the People's Republic, I apologize as this post might seem insensitive to your plight. Fight on brother. Fight on.

Flashback Monday: Sliding Down Rock Hill

Yes readers it's time for another Monday Flashback. So all five of you get in a circle and sit criss cross apple sauce and I'll tell you tale from my life from the past.

'Twas a warm sunny day as I made my ascent,
Up notorious Rock Hill in Connecticut.
The wind it was blowing
My face it was glowing
As I climbed up that giant cliff face.
My father was absent
My mother was sleeping
As I gallantly made my way.
The dew was still fresh and the rocks were still slick
But determined, I continued to climb.
I had on my Nikes
My short shorts, my T shirt
With my socks pulled up to my knees,
I was halfway to the summit
When I felt myself plummet
And my shorts instantly rode up my butt!
I slipped and slided
I lefted and righted,
And almost collided
With an ominous bush.
And just when I thought all hope was lost
I suddenly stopped on my toosh.

I looked around slowly and felt something trickle
Warmly around my right leg.
It was blood from my cheek
And I felt like a geek
But at least I survived the ordeal.

Rock Hill, it still stands just as far as I know
It is there and forever will be.
It is mine I have claimed it for my right butt cheek stained it
Notorious it will be evermore.

Drop The Mujic

Today we got a 911 call from a concerned citizen who had a suggestion as to how the "disabled miners" could be rescued. See, she had been watching TV and had seen how rescue workers had been drilling holes in the mountain and dropping microphones in an effort to locate the miners. Her suggestion:

"Drop the mujic." Her thinking was that instead of dropping microphones in the mine, rescue workers should be dropping mujic in an effort to give the trapped miners hope.

As if the sound of DRILLING wouldn't be music to their trapped ears. No, we need monster ballads to give these guys hope. I think I'll create a special playlist just for this. Oh yeah, "mujic" is really music.

"It Doesn't Get Much Better Than This"

As I came to the end of my orange flavored Creamy, I noticed the message written on the wooden stick: "It doesn't get much better than this." Suddenly I was filled with an aching sadness. I realized the stick was right. It doesn't get much better than this. I always thought there was more to life but apparently according to Premium, the comapny that manufactures Creamies, there isn't. I hope they realize what destruction they're causing. Unless someone who is completely satisfied with his or her life is eating one of their Creamies, people all over America are getting very very depressed. I don't think I could live with that kind of responsibility. Could you? I'm going to wager a guess and say no. If I had my own Popsicle company I would put inspirational messages of hope and compassion on my Popsicle sticks, like:

"Don't feel bad you'll burn off these calories just by standing up!"

or

"It could always be worse."

or

"You don't have to like it, you just have to do it."

Wouldn't that just be better than, "it doesn't get much better than this?" Thanks a lot Creamies for crushing my hopes and dreams. Thank you for making me see that no matter what I do, I'll never get that better job or lose that weight or beat Aaric's high score on facebook tetris. Stupid Creamies.

Flashback Mondays

Yeah, I'm just being different. So to you, the five readers of my blog, I take you on a trip down my personal memory lane. The year was 1983 I was in kinder garden and I was bit by a dog while walking home from school. That's right, I was 5 and walking home from school (uphill). These older kids were walking their doberman and it started snarling at me and barking. They let it go and it chased me down and bit me in the thigh. If you look real hard you can still see the bite marks. I was traumatized. From that day forward I was terrified of all dogs. Even the Disney movie Oliver freaked me out and as far as I was concerned all dogs most certainly did not go to heaven. It wasn't until years later when I was 17 that I overcame my overpowering fear of dogs. My parents bought a puppy for my brother for Christmas. And as is usually the case with dogs, they tend to want to hang out with the kid that ignores it. So my brother's dog became my best friend and cured me just in time for my mission on the Mexican border. So that's my flashback. It's not a cutsie flashback like the rest of you like to post. Mine is filled with terror but ends in redemption. This is the kind of hard hitting biographic flashback you can expect to read every Monday here at anotherblogaboutme.blogspot.com.